


In Winter With Warm Tears

by girlgoneblack



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Accident, Age Difference, Age Regression/De-Aging, Bottom Loki (Marvel), Explicit Sexual Content, Feelings, First time writing it so I hope it's gonna be fine, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, I mean a bit, Just couldn't help myself, M/M, Memory Loss, Mild Somnophilia, Mildly Dubious Consent, Morally dubious Thor, Pining, Pre-Canon, Pre-Thor (2011), Size Difference, Size Kink, Slow Build, Thorki Secret Santa 2018, Top Thor (Marvel), Yes there is fluff, but not really, but not super slow, i guess?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2019-09-27 07:10:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17157557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlgoneblack/pseuds/girlgoneblack
Summary: Loki accidentally goes back to being a teen, and him and Thor must find a way to restore him to his normal appearance.Written for the Thorki Secret Santa 2018.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sweetcocoa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetcocoa/gifts).



> Merry Christmas sweetcocoa! I hope it's still the 25th when you see this, wherever you are.

> In winter with warm tears I'll melt the snow  
>  And keep eternal spring-time on thy face.
> 
> _Titus Andronicus_ (William Shakespeare)

   The night was warm and the sky, cloudless. The huge, silver moon cast a ray of shining light on Loki, sprawled on Thor’s bed. His raven hair laid on the pillow around his pale face, like a black crown for the prince he was. His thin, scarlet lips were apart, frozen in a cry of pleasure.

   Thor slowly entered his brother, keeping his eyes fixed on Loki. His brother’s fingernails scraped his back, harshly digging in the hard flesh.

   “Brother…” whispered Thor, cradling Loki’s jaw.

   Loki smiled at Thor, a genuine, soft smile.

   Then, suddenly, his head roughly pounded on the headboard with a loud, sickening sound.

   “Loki!” gasped Thor.

   His brother’s face remained smiling, as if nothing odd had happened.

   Another thud resonated in the midnight air as Loki’s head crashed again and again on the hard wood. Thor felt his eyes tearing up; his lips opened in a panicked scream when he saw the red, glistening blood gushing out of an opened wound on his brother’s forehead.

   “ _No!_ ”

   Thor woke with a loud gasp, his whole body drenched in cold sweat. He was lying in his bed, in his chambers.

   Alone.

   Of course he was alone.

   The walls of his room were colored in a slightly orange hue as the early morning light filtered through the heavy curtains. Beyond, outside, there was only white snow.

   The air was not warm at all – a chilly, winter breeze was seeping through the gaps in the door and the windows.

   It took Thor a few moments to come to his senses, the sleep still clouding his mind. When he sobered up a bit more, he realized what had woken him from his restless sleep: a loud pounding on the door to his chambers. Someone was hammering their fists on the wood, the sound drifting and resonating all around Thor’s room.

   Thor groaned and pulled his covers on his head, turning his back to the door.

   “Go away” he muttered, even if the person knocking outside couldn’t hear him.

   Who could it be? This early, moreover.

   Thor would have a word with the maids if it was one of them.

   “Go away!” shouted Thor again, as the sound continued, his scream muffled by his heavy covers.

   The pounding stopped abruptly, and Thor thought for a moment that whoever it was, they had given up, but the next second there was an odd clicking and grinding noise, and then the unmistakable creak of the door opening.

   Thor screwed his eyes shut, pressing his lips together to stop an annoyed growl from escaping him.

   “Thor?”

   The voice was quiet and oddly raspy. Thor did not recognize it. It belonged to a young man or a boy though, so it couldn’t be his maid.

   Thor was trying to figure out if he had ever heard the voice before when his covers were suddenly ripped away from him and the chill of the room washed over him. He turned around, sitting up, ready to shout at whomever had dared to disturb him – and came face to face with a pale, wide-eyed, young boy who seemed strangely familiar.

   The boy stared at him, visibly in shock. Thor stared back, the gears turning in his head while he was trying to recall from where he knew the boy. The white skin, the green, sparkling eyes, the jet black, ear-length hair, the long, lithe body… _He knew them_.

   But before his brain had time to reach a painfully obvious conclusion, the boy screeched angrily in his raspy voice and threw himself at Thor.

   Thor didn’t have time to react as the boy tackled him backwards on the bed. His fingers sparked in green and one of his hands found Thor’s throat, closing on it with a surprising strength. A dagger materialized in his other hand and the sharp blade was soon pressed against the tender flesh on Thor’s neck.

   Thor froze, the weight of the boy’s body pressing his own on his bed.

   “What…” started Thor, but as he spoke, the blade dug deeper into his skin, so he stopped.

   The green eyes blazed with a hot hatred.

   “Where” the boy snarled “is my brother?”

   Thor blinked, and then, suddenly, it dawned on him.

   “ _Loki_ ” he whispered.

   “Right you are, _thief_ ” the boy said through gritted teeth. “Now speak, before I slit your throat.”

   Loki was skilled and stealthy, both in magic and mastering his daggers, but his thin frame was no match for Thor’s heavy and powerful mass of muscles. Thor’s hand shot up, his fingers circling around his brother’s thin wrist, and he flipped them, so that Loki now laid on his back on Thor’s bed, pinned under the powerful body of the blonde god.

   Loki began trashing around in his grip, but Thor held tight. He took a few moments to examine… Well, to examine his _brother_. For it was Loki – a few centuries younger, but very much Loki nonetheless. His body was smaller, slim, his muscles just beginning to harden – Loki of the present was still slender, but his lean body hid surprising strength and toughness. The boy’s jaw was thinner and his face rounder, unlike the angled, stern features of the older Loki. His hair was shorter and looked bouncier, a few curls here and there – imperfections that his brother had begun to hide when they entered adulthood.

   The only thing that remained unchanged were Loki’s green, clever eyes.

   The Loki he had before him was a late teen, and Thor remembered the time when his brother looked like that through a sort of mist. There were happy years – insouciant and blissful, when Loki and him were not adults yet but were old enough to leave the palace to hunt and journey to discover new parts of Asgard. They still had some lessons with tutors, still were taught new battle and combat moves, and Loki was just beginning to experiment with shapeshifting magic.

   The Loki he had before him was the Loki he had first wanted to kiss and to claim, the Loki who had made his blood boil hotter than ever before when he stripped one day near the lake deep in the woods, the Loki who had been the object of his wildest and dirtiest fantasies throughout his late teens and into adulthood.

   Thor lost himself in his thoughts for a moment but was soon brought back when Loki’s sharp nails scraped his bare arm, drawing blood.

   “Loki, please, calm down” he grunted, feeling the unpleasant sting of a scratch.

   “Calm down!?” screeched Loki. “I find a stranger in my brother’s bed and I’m supposed to calm down?”

   “Loki!” repeated Thor, slightly shaking the boy. “It’s me, you know me. I… What happened to you?”

   “What happened to me?” snarled Loki, his venomous eyes boring into Thor. “I woke up on the floor, in my room, which actually wasn’t my room, because it was different, just like pretty much everything in the palace, so I went to my brother’s room, so he could explain what is…”

   Thor sighed and cut Loki mid-sentence:

   “Loki, it is me. Your brother. I’m Thor.”

   Loki shot him a look he usually reserved for when Thor said something particularly thick.

   “You’re not. You’re old.”

   Thor winced slightly at that.

   “I am, well… Normal. You’re the one out of time” he explained calmly.

   Loki stopped trashing and writhing.

   “You’re… A teen” continued Thor. “But normally, you’re an adult. Just like me.”

   Loki gaped at him.

   “What?” he snapped. “What does that even _mean_?”

   “You resemble the Loki I remember from our younger years” explained Thor. “But you shouldn’t look like this. You should be older.” Thor sighed, feeling a headache coming. This was so… Odd. “I do not know what happened, Loki, but I’m your brother. Trust me. Look at me, you know me.”

   Loki’s eyes thinned into mere slits as he gazed suspiciously at Thor.

   “Well…” he began. “You _do_ look like Thor. Older, of course. But why would I be a teen if I’m supposed to be an adult?”

   Thor frowned down at him.

   “I…”

   Loki let out an annoyed huff.

   “Why do I even bother asking _you_.”

   Thor knew better than to be offended by his brother’s mocking tone.

   “And get off me!” added Loki in an angry voice. “You’re hurting me.”

   Thor jumped off Loki, a hot sensation spreading throughout his body as he fought off the color rising to his cheeks. His brother sat up, massaging his wrists with a displeased expression on his pale face.

   “It doesn’t make sense” he muttered, more to himself than to Thor. “How does… _It can’t_.”

   He suddenly sprang to his feet and began marching to the door.

   “Wait!” Thor shouted, running after him.

   Loki turned to him, his gaze nothing short of murderous.

   “Where… Where do you intend to go?” Thor asked.

   “To my rooms” slowly replied his brother. “There will maybe be something hinting at what has happened and why I have found myself in such a strange situation.”

   Thor blinked.

   “Oh” he breathed. “Well, I will go with you, then.”

   Loki grimaced a bit but didn’t say anything.

   Thor silently followed his brother across the deserted corridor to his chambers. It was tidy and well organized, unlike Thor’s own quarters, and everything was immaculate and shiny – maybe except for a few old tomes lying here and there. Loki began inspecting everything very closely, going through the books and rolls of parchment. He then pushed the bathroom door opened. Thor peered inside.

   A small, green fire was crackling on the clean, marble floor, and what looked like thick, black goo was spilled all over the ground, along with broken glass and several old pages that looked as if they were ripped out of a book.

   “Oh, no” moaned Loki, hastily snatching the nearest, torn paper. “A switching spell.”

   “A what?” asked Thor, bewildered.

   “Switching spell” repeated Loki. “Well, more like switching _potion_. It’s a basis for all shapeshifting magic. I’ve studied the theory of the spell, and… It _should not_ , under any circumstances, be performed in the cold weather. It causes one of its key ingredient to harden, and then it does not react properly. It should always be brewed in a warm, cozy room. Or during a hot summer, in the gardens.”

   Thor didn’t know what to say.

   “How could I make such an elementary mistake?” whined Loki. “Have I become an idiot with age?”

   “Not at all, brother” quickly said Thor. “You’re cleverer than ever.”

   “Then _why_?” He turned himself to Thor, his stare hardening. “I must have caught your stupidity. Such an amount _must_ be contagious.”

   Thor sighed.

   “Insulting me won’t solve your problem.”

   Loki pressed his lips together.

   “What will I do now?” he said in a croaky voice. “I can’t stay like this forever, not if I’m supposed to be… Older.”

   Again, Thor didn’t know what to reply to that.

   Loki gave a lazy wave of his hand and the green fire died while the black, thick liquid began disappearing, as if it was being absorbed by the floor. He then began to collect the loose pages lying around the bathroom, folding each of them neatly.

   Thor watched his every movement intently. He watched his lean body, draped in a thin, green tunic bend over, watched as his long legs hugged by dark pants strode around the bathroom, watched his expressionless, pale face and his intelligent, green eyes.

   “You’ll find a way, brother” blurted out Thor. “If there’s something I’ve learned throughout the centuries, it’s that you always do.”

   Loki looked at him, his eyes boring into his soul.

   “Do you…” continued Thor. “Do you reckon we should go to mother?”

   “Mother?” repeated Loki.

   “Yes. She will maybe know what to do.”

   Loki paled even more.

   “No!” he said hastily. “She will be disappointed in me. And she will tell father. He will think I am too irresponsible to perform any sorcery and won’t allow me to study magic anymore.”

   Thor raised his eyebrows.

   “You’re of age, Loki” he replied. “You’re not a child anymore. He can’t forbid you… Well, even if he _is_ the ruler of Asgard, I don’t think… He’d understand, you know. And even if he _did_ ban you from studying further magic, you’d still find a way.”

   But Loki still shook his head.

   “No, _no_. I don’t want anyone to know. Apart from you.”

   “Very well, brother” sighed Thor.

   He followed Loki out of the bathroom.

   “I don’t even recognize my own quarters” he whined in his odd, rusty voice.

   “Well, you changed it a lot in the last few hundred years” answered Thor.

   “I still remember…” Loki cleared his throat. “I remember when we shared a room.”

   Thor’s throat went strangely dry.

   “Yes, I do too, brother.”

   There was a ringing silence. The sun had risen while they were in the bathroom and it lightened the room in a cold, winter gleam.

   “Why is your voice like this, anyway?” asked Thor.

   “Like what?” snapped Loki, looking annoyed once more.

   “Well, it’s… Raspy. Husky. It’s usually very smooth.”

   “I’m about to reach adulthood, so it’s changing. Of course it’s not _smooth_ ” said Loki in a haughty, mocking tone.

   Thor felt very stupid. He should have thought about it before asking. He had nearly forgotten that before Loki had reached his very silky, silvery, slightly deep voice he had gone through an awkward phase of croaky voice and husky tone.

   Thor had the sudden urge to slam his brother’s thin body on the wall and pull him by the hair, just so he could hear Loki’s cries and moans and stuttered breaths uttered in that breaking voice of his. It would be so easy – Loki had nothing of his usual high and mighty posture, being now more than two heads shorter than Thor instead of his usual inch or two. He was maybe half as large as Thor, his scrawny wrists looking ready to be trapped under Thor’s big, tanned hands.

   It would be _so easy_.

   “I should start researching some counter-spell” muttered Loki after a moment of silence.

   “Oh, of course” replied Thor. “Shall we go to the library?”

   Loki raised one of his dark eyebrows. That was at least one thing that hadn’t changed.

   “‘ _We_ ’?” he asked.

   “I think I should go with you and help you, brother.”

   “You? Go to the library? To help me with research?” repeated Loki, incredulously.

   Thor let out a little chuckle.

   “I’ve visited it more often that you think” he said.

   “Well, well. Now that’s a surprise.”

 

* * *

 

   They went to the library, careful not to draw too much attention to themselves. It was rather difficult, as a small, dark haired boy, dressed in royal clothes, strolling around the castle in the prince’s company would have been a rather peculiar sight. Thor had found some old, hunting clothes of his and had ushered Loki to change into them. He had felt intense warmth flood his body when Loki had begun to strip in front of him, revealing a lean, pale, slightly toned chest, and had gone out of the room, sputtering some excuse, before his brother had the chance to take off any more of his clothing.

   Loki looked like he was floating in the large, brownish, battered wear, and his shirt kept slipping off to the side, showing his bony shoulder and long neck that Thor kept glancing towards.

   They began their research, wandering along the shelves, going through old, dusty tomes. Although Loki somehow knew his way around the library, it was nothing compared to how at ease and at home the present Loki looked when he was in this place. His brother knew every corner by heart, knew the exact placement of every book, knew the ancient languages required to read certain scrolls – Thor had seen him countless of times, following his younger brother instead of going to practice in the arena, while Loki glided through the dim corridors like a tall, dark ghost in the deafening silence of the library. He had spent hours sitting next to his brother, observing him while pretending to study, his eyes following his long, white fingers turning page after page. Loki had never said anything – he had cast puzzling glances to Thor, smiling mystically from time to time or making a snide remark.

   It had always been like that.

   “It’s no use” sighed Loki after a few hours, slamming shut the heavy book lying on the table in front of him. “Some of those texts are in languages I didn’t even know of.”

   His face was weary and tired.

   Thor closed the book he was reading too.

   “You learn those languages at some point, you know” he said.

   Loki didn’t look surprised.

   “I don’t doubt it” he replied. “But I can’t read any of them for now.”

   “We’ve only gone through a hundred books or so. Don’t lose hope yet, brother.”

   “I’ve had enough” croaked Loki.

   His face was screwed in an unmistakably sad expression. Thor was taken aback for a moment, because he had almost forgotten that Loki could be this expressive.

   “Let’s go have something to eat” he offered. “We can do something amusing and resume our research later.”

   Loki scoffed.

   “I dare not imagine what _you_ would define as _amusing_ , brother.”

   Thor got up from his uncomfortable chair.

   “Come, Loki. I’ll have something brought up to my rooms.”

   “Alright. And I have to change clothes, the ones you gave me are atrocious. And they smell.”

   Thor made a highly offended face and Loki chuckled, for the first time since he had found himself in the body and the mind of his younger self. The sound made Thor smile too.

   They sneaked back to Thor’s quarters and while Loki changed into a fitting shirt, Thor fetched for some food from the kitchens.

   Loki sprawled himself on his side on the divan, his legs spread apart in a lazy pose. Thor set the small table, lining the plates the maid had brought up. He had made sure to get his brother’s favorite fruits, although he wasn’t sure anymore if Loki had liked them when he was young.

   He sat in his armchair across from his brother and watched the boy as he pushed grape after grape past his thin, scarlet lips. He forced his gaze to remain on Loki’s face – forced it not to travel lower, on Loki’s neck, his taut stomach visible through his thin shirt, on his thighs that looked delightful in dark pants, inviting and taunting.

   Loki brought the golden goblet to his lips and Thor examined his bobbing, pale neck.

   Loki sputtered, spitting his drink in his cup.

   “Did you pour me wine?” he asked, grimacing.

   “Oh!” cried Thor. “I’m sorry, I forgot that you… Give it back, I’ll have some water brought up for you.”

   Loki clutched the goblet tightly in his hand.

   “It’s okay, I’ll drink it.”

   “I don’t think you should” muttered Thor but he was too tired to protest.

   They spent the afternoon nibbling on food and talking. Loki was very curious as to what they have been doing for the past centuries. Thor was a bit reluctant to reveal too much – he didn’t know what the spell had done, exactly. What if young Loki wasn’t supposed to know everything that was to unfold in his future? What if the potion had somehow switched past and present Loki, not simply de-aged the Loki he knew?

   Still, they had a very pleasant time. As Loki drank, his pale face flushed a pretty, blood color, his laughter becoming booming and louder like Thor hadn’t heard it in years and years. Loki didn’t usually become drunk easily, so it was an unusual sight that Thor tucked away in his memory, smiling fondly at Loki and laughing along with him, the wine loosening his lips too.

   “Maybe we should go to bed” said Thor, gazing outside to the darkening sky.

   Loki raised his eyebrows and Thor realized too late how it had sounded.

   “I mean” he stammered, “you should go to sleep. Today was tiring. And we should resume our research tomorrow.”

   Loki smiled lazily, his smirk mocking, and gazed at Thor with hazy eyes.

   “No, I don’t think I will” he purred, and the sound traveled straight to Thor’s groin. “I don’t feel like getting up.”

   He then made a show of stretching on the divan, the shirt riding up on his stomach, revealing a patch of skin. Thor’s eyes instinctively traveled there. He gritted his teeth, hard, and forced himself to look up at Loki’s face. His brother’s stare was boring straight through Thor’s soul.

   “I think you should go now, brother” repeated Thor.

   “No” snickered Loki.

   He was behaving like a brat, taunting Thor on purpose just to see his reactions. It sent Thor back to their childhood, when Loki would rile up his brother on purpose until Thor exploded in anger, just for the sake of it.

   “ _Make me_ , brother.”

   The last word came out in a whiny moan, and Thor shot up to his feet, his breathing quickening.

   “ _Loki_ ” he croaked, his voice pleading. “Just go to your room.”

   Loki’s expression changed faster than the flicker of a flame. His eyes became sad and his face, dejected.

   “Don’t make me go there” he whispered. “I don’t want to be there alone.”

   Thor’s eyes widened a bit.

   “It’s not even _my_ room” continued Loki.

   “Oh, brother” said Thor, his voice a bare sigh. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.”

   Loki looked up at him, his stare hopeful.

   “What do you wish me to do, then, brother?” asked Thor, trying to control the slight tremble of his voice.

   Loki’s gaze dropped to the floor.

   “Can I… Could I stay here for tonight? I won’t be loud” he added quickly. “I can sleep on the floor, or… Or the divan.”

   “Don’t be stupid” interrupted him Thor. “You’ll sleep in my bed.”

   His brother’s watery eyes shone like moons in the now dark room.

   “Will you… Will you lie with me? Just today.”

   Thor’s throat dried up. The blood was thudding in his ears, making it hard to think.

   “If that’s what you wish for” he rasped.

   Loki smiled brightly. He got up without a word, turned around and stalked slowly towards the huge bed. He shed his shirt, pulling it over his head, and Thor watched, transfixed, the muscles moving on his brother’s back and neck, like a snake slithering under his silver skin. Loki kicked off his shoes, and dressed only in his thin, silky pants, he slid under Thor’s covers.

   Thor stood frozen for a few seconds, feeling the blood rise to his cheeks under Loki’s scrutinizing stare. Then he took off his own shirt, boots and pants, leaving only his breeches on, and tiptoed to the bed. Loki’s eyes followed his every movement, shining like small moons in the pale light seeping through the windows. Loki moved to the side to leave some space for Thor, who lied down next to him, his breath stuck in his throat.

   He slowly turned on his side to face his brother. He was breathing softly, raven black hair falling in his eyes.

   “Goodnight, then” whispered Thor and made the mistake of taking a deep gulf of air through his nose. Loki’s crisp scent hit his nostrils, clouding his senses and brain. It was cool and sweet at the same time, and Thor longed to bury his face in the crook of Loki’s neck and fall asleep there, stroking his soft hair. He made a jerking move of his hand, reaching to his brother’s face and traced his knuckles over his cheek.

   There was a sharp, wheezing intake of breath.

   Thor quickly snatched his hand away.

   “Goodnight” muttered Loki tiredly and slowly shut his eyes.

   Thor spent the next half hour or so observing his younger brother. Loki fell asleep fairly quickly, and shifted in his sleep, turning his back to him. Thor wasn’t sleepy at all. He dared not to move, afraid of waking Loki up, and laid, unmoving, his whole body consumed by a heat he had never known until now. Every one of his muscle was taut, shaking from the effort. His chest was rising in small, uncontrollable spasms. His gaze was boring into Loki’s lean back and exposed, pale neck.

   Thor moved after a while. His muscles twitched, and he extended a trembling hand to Loki. His fingertips gazed over the smooth flesh.

   Thor let out a shaky sigh that got caught up in his throat. He traced over his brother’s protruding shoulder blades, over his shoulder, his knobby spine, his thin nape. His fingers travelled along Loki’s jaw and they met the soft curve of his lips. Thor quickly retrieved them – he felt that if he went further, he wouldn’t have been able to stop.

   He snaked his arm around his brother’s bare stomach and inched forward, slotting himself against Loki’s cool back, burying his nose in Loki’s feathery hair and pressing his lips to his neck. He made sure to leave a small space between his crotch and his brother’s backside, because he was sure a small, single touch would drive him crazy,  and darted a hesitant tongue, tasting Loki’s freshness on its tip.

   Thor kissed the same spot, over and over again, and his kisses became sloppy and opened-mouthed. His breath quickened, the blood roaring in his ears, air dashing through his dilated nostrils. His eyes slowly drifted shut when he licked along Loki’s neck, from its base up to the roots of his first hair. He sucked on a particularly tender spot of skin, feeling drowsy and drunker than ever.

   Thor soon slumped into an uneasy sleep, his hand tracing soothing circles on his brother’s bare chest and his face buried in his scent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters 2 and 3 will follow soon. So sorry for the delay! I hope you like it!
> 
> Cheers!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to deeply apologize to everyone who has been waiting for an update, especially sweetcocoa, for whom this fic is being written. It was supposed to be a Christmas present, and I utterly failed at delivering it in time. I had to take a break from writing for personal reasons, so this took wayyy longer than expected. Like, literally four months. I didn't even notice this long had passed.
> 
> Anyway, here I am, back and ready to finish this. 
> 
> I'm really, really sorry, and I hope that at least you'll enjoy the read.
> 
> Cheers!

   Thor woke up to an empty bed.

   For a few moments, he didn’t understand why he felt a cold hollowness in his chest, his eyes slowly wandering around the room. Then his gaze focused on the creased covers next to him, and all his memories of the previous day flooded back to him.

   _Loki_.

   Thor sprang to his feet, a slow panic building up in his chest. Had Loki gone away? Had he… Oh gods, had he been awake when Thor had touched him the previous night and was now running away from him?

   A burning feeling of guilt set in Thor’s stomach and his head started to spin a bit. He never should have done it. It was his punishment for not being able to control his dark, animalistic, shameful…

   A sound of faint, splashing water made him halt in his train of thought.

   Thor spun on his heels and headed straight towards the bathroom adjacent to his chambers. Not even bothering to knock, he threw the doors open, and they banged loudly on the wall.

   Loki was indeed inside, in the midst of tying a towel around his narrow hips. When Thor stormed inside the bathroom, he turned around, clutching the towel around him, a furious expression on his pale face.

   “Have you forgotten all your manners, brother?” he asked, his tone sour and annoyed. “Not that you ever had any to begin with.”

   But Thor wasn’t listening to him anymore. His treacherous eyes were trailing along the thin curves of Loki’s body, roaming over the expanse of white, untouched, wet skin. His gaze followed a drop of water from his brother’s midnight hair, even darker than usual as they laid, plastered to his neck and forehead, a startling contrast with the fair skin, as it fell and rolled on his collarbone, down his chest, his taut stomach, down to the towel.

   Thor could only imagine what laid underneath the piece of cloth. He could only ever dream about ripping it off to discover the rest of his brother’s body.

   He took an unconscious step towards Loki, entranced, his blood already heating up.

   “Loki” he rasped out, the first word after a night’s sleep, sounding dirty to his own ears.

   “Brother, please do give me a moment of privacy” barked Loki, actually snapping his fingers.

   This sobered Thor up a bit, or at least enough to retreat out of the bathroom and close the door behind him.

   As soon as he was back in his chambers, and the thin door and wall gave him some semblance of isolation, he palmed himself through his breeches, letting out a shaky breath and a strangled whimper. His breathing hitched, coming out in small, staggering moans, and he squeezed his growing erection. He had half a mind to take himself out right there and coax himself into one of his usual, fantasy-filled orgasm, but then he remembered where he was and with whom.

   With a great effort, he pried his hand away from his throbbing member and put on his clothes, trying to get his mind off his hunger for his brother.

   He would not last long in this situation. He sincerely hoped Loki would return to sleeping in his rooms that night – or he would not be able to vouch much longer for his lust filled mind.

   Loki soon emerged out of the bathroom, carrying a wisp of steam behind him, dressed in a see-through, light tunic and loose pants. He smelled like a winter morning – or maybe it was the air outside? – and his curls bounced with every step he took.

   “How… How are you feeling, brother?” asked Thor tentatively, avoiding at all costs looking straight at Loki.

   His brother shrugged, his face closed and neutral.

   “Do you want to go back to the library today?” tried Thor.

   “I see no other option” muttered Loki, twisting a strand of his hair around his finger.

   “We could go to mother, Loki.”

   “No, I will not” snapped his brother. “I have told you already. If you do not want to help me anymore, I won’t hold it against you.” Thor heard him add in a low mumble: “You’re not helping much, anyway”, but he ignored it. “But I will not go to mother.”

   Thor sighed.

   “Loki, you know well I will always stand by you. It’s just that I thought… Well, I thought she could help us understand.”

   Loki’s face went dark, and muttering something under his nose, he left the room. Thor quickly followed after him.

   “Where are we going?” he asked, breathless, looking around the desert corridor.

   “Just to my room, I want to verify something.”

   They entered, a cold breeze hitting them in the face. They had left the curtains opened the day before.

   Loki shivered a bit but started going through the books piled on his desk all the same. Thor observed him for a while, but after some time he turned around and began rummaging through Loki’s closet, looking for something warm for his brother to wear. He found Loki’s green cloak, lined with rich fur, that normally reached adult Loki’s knees. It would have to do.

   He stood motionless for a while, the silky material slipping through his fingers, while his eyes absentmindedly trailed the shimmers of the light on the soft fur. He remembered this cloak from a few years back. He remembered how he and Loki had killed a magnificent wolf when they had gone hunting in the fall, one of the rare occasions they had spent time together, as brothers. Almost every minute of their days were counted since reaching adulthood, and they… Had grown apart. Thor didn’t know who had pulled away – his brother or him. In his mind, it had been Loki. His brother had always watched with disdain the childish way Thor behaved with his friends, the mindless, brutal force he used to accomplish everything in his life. But maybe it had been Thor; maybe it had been him, who, not able to cope with his forbidden feelings, had retreated and had left Loki behind – out of guilt, out of selfishness.

   Thor remembered gifting the fur to his brother, as one of the many tokens of renewed friendship and camaraderie he had tried to offer. Loki had had it made into a cloak of velour for the upcoming harsh winter. The gift had worked for some time, but then, they had come back to their starting point.

   “…or? _Thor_?”

   Thor startled from his train of thoughts and looked down to see a half annoyed, half curious Loki looking up at him.

   “What is it?” asked Loki, and although he motioned to the cloak clutched in his brother’s hands, Thor wondered if he was asking about something else.

   “I found this, so you would be warmer” quickly said Thor, thrusting the clothe into Loki’s hands.

   Loki arched an eyebrow but still threw the cloak on his shoulders. It cascaded down his thin body, reaching his ankles, the fur framing his thin neck. He looked truly like a prince.

   “It’s quite lovely” said Loki, his face suddenly warming up, a small smile playing on his lips.

   Thor eyed him, stunned – he kept forgetting that young Loki was more vocal about his thoughts than the adult version he had now grown accustomed to.

   “Well, it is yours, brother” he replied, smiling. “Your taste in fashion is still impeccable.”

   Loki snickered at that.

   “I found this” he said, holding up a large tome. “It speaks of errors in common magic, and I believe I can maybe discover a counter spell for my failed attempt at a switching spell.”

   Thor beamed down at him.

   “Lovely. Should we head to the library for some peace?”

   “After you, brother” smirked Loki.

   They left the room, Loki carrying the heavy book under his arm. The cloak billowed behind him, and apart from the murmur of the cloth he moved in total silence.

   “I’m worried, if I must be honest” quietly muttered Loki after they had passed a few corridors.

   He looked up at Thor, who raised his eyebrows in a silent question.

   “I… I still don’t know exactly what the spell did” continued Loki. “And so I don’t exactly know how to counter it. My guess is simply that my body and my mind have been _de-aged_ , but on the other side, how could a switching spell result in such an effect? That is not its purpose at all. What if we have been _switched_?”

   Thor remained silent.

   “What if” whispered young Loki “ _I_ am now here and the Loki _you_ know is where I’m supposed to be, in my stead?”

   Thor took in a bit of the chilly air and breathed it out.

   “I’ve wondered about this too” he admitted. “I don’t know what to tell you.”

   Loki stopped abruptly and turned a serious gaze to Thor.

   “This could have more dire consequences than what you can possibly imagine” he hissed. “Time and memory are not things to be meddled with.”

 

* * *

 

   They spent the day in the library; and the following ones too.

   While many books described possible errors that could occur when performing a switching spell, none of them talked about reversing them – and what was even more unsettling, none described any regression in age or mind.

   Loki slept one more night in Thor’s room, during which Thor barely shut an eye, his hands firmly clasped under his head and fire coursing through his veins. Then his brother went to spend the night to his own chambers, complaining about Thor’s snoring. It was a relief for Thor, but he also felt a pang of regret watching his brother bid him goodnight and leaving his quarters in the evening. He wished there was something that could keep Loki in his rooms – something other than brotherly love.

   After a week, Thor lost all will to continue looking and little of his initial hope remained. After another week, he could see that Loki had become desperate and was giving up on his search too. He snapped at everything Thor said, he didn’t eat and spent late evenings going over books and tomes in the library, under the light of a few candles. He looked thin and gray, and his hair was greasy and flat against his head. He reminded Thor a bit of the adult he later would become.

   It had also become increasingly difficult to hide Loki’s condition and the fact that the younger prince of Asgard was, well… _Missing_. Thor had had to make excuses in front of his mother and father when they summoned them one evening for a small feast, and on two other occasions when his mother had wished to speak with her youngest son. Thor had stammered something about Loki feeling ill and indisposed, then about him being away, looking for herbs in the forest, but he felt the reasons he could come up with running out. He would have admitted everything to his mother if it weren’t for Loki’s stubbornness.

   They thus spent their days sitting in the library amongst books, Loki reading and frantically searching for a solution, and Thor gradually losing any interest in what they were looking for, his attention focused on his brother.

   He spent his hours watching Loki, studying his profile cut against the white, winter light, his straight nose, his thin, scarlet lips, his dark curls catching the sunshine. He marveled at how Loki’s thin fingers trailed against his lips when he was reading, at how he fingered his earlobe and looked into space when pondering over something.

   Thor wanted to suck on that earlobe, to marvel at the taste of the soft skin, sink his teeth in his brother’s tender flesh. He wanted to grab him by the neck and force his head down to the table, twist Loki’s thin arms behind his back so that his brother would be completely at his mercy, pressed against the hard wood, Thor’s hands snaking along his lithe body and exploring every inch of muscle and skin, Loki writhing and trashing under his touch.

   His little power fantasies took most of his days – he occasionally woke up from his trance and pretended to look through some book to keep up pretenses; but he was pretty sure Loki knew he wasn’t really reading anything. He surely didn’t think Thor could ever find anything useful. Thor didn’t think so either.

 

* * *

 

   It was at the beginning of the third week of the accident that Loki finally lost his calm.

   They were in Thor’s chambers, Loki lying on the floor amidst tons of notes and papers he had amassed during his long searches. Midnight was nearing.

   “I’m done” quietly said Loki.

   “Hm?” muttered Thor, raising his eyes from one of the rare books he had actually looked through.

   Loki sprang to his feet and his head whipped to look at Thor.

   “I’m… Done” he seethed through gritted teeth. “I’m done! I don’t care anymore!” he screeched. “I want this to be _over_!” he continued bellowing.

   Thor slowly rose from his armchair.

   “Brother…” he started in a calm voice, but Loki’s strident scream cut him off.

   Loki kicked the papers surrounding him, shouting profanities, even in languages unknown to Thor. He looked mad, as if he had lost any last shred of sense. He kept on shouting, his fists curled and ready to hit. Then his eyes blazed with green light. Thor took a step back, feeling an perturbing emotion settling in the pit of his stomach: _fear_. Loki looked terrifying.

   Loki looked _powerful_.

   Loki raised his arms and whipped them down with a last, shrill yell. Green fire blazed all around him, burning to the ground almost every bit of parchment that laid around him. The flames shot high, up towards the ceiling, and Thor had to cover his face because of the flying ashes and sparks. The fire emitted no actual heat – it was almost icy cold, as if it held a deadly power that could freeze the whole world.

   When the flames went out, Thor saw Loki at last, kneeling in the middle of a circle of ripped and burnt pages, his head down and his shoulders slumped.

   “Brother” breathed Thor and he rushed over to Loki, falling to his knees before him. “Brother, what…”

   Loki’s body shook slightly.

   “Oh…” inhaled Thor, and he reached gentle hands to Loki’s face and raised his brother’s head with gentle fingers, palming his brother’s cheeks.

   They were wet under his soothing palms.

   Loki’s eyes looked oddly empty, any spark of mischief gone. They were glazed and looked startlingly _green_ in contrast with the redness that encompassed the irises.

   They had never looked more beautiful.

   Thor instinctively started inching a bit closer, but the sob that rippled out of Loki’s lips was a sobering shock. It had been centuries since he had last seen his brother cry.

   “Loki, please…” he murmured, rubbing small circles on his brother’s cheeks with his thumbs.

   “I’m useless” choked Loki. “I can’t do _anything_.”

   “You’re not” said Thor with a firm voice. “You, brother, are the most brilliant person I have ever had the honor to know.”

   Loki looked up at him, trust and love so clearly painted on his face that Thor almost did it – he almost dug his fingers deeper in the soft flesh of Loki’s cheeks and he almost closed the empty space between them to claim his brother’s lips.

   “Let’s go to sleep for tonight” he offered, clearing his throat. “We… We will think about something tomorrow.”

   Loki sniffed at bit but he nodded. He clasped Thor’s outstretched hand and Thor helped him up to his feet, but when he meant to take his hand away, Loki clung to it, clutching it hard between his own fingers, as if he was afraid that if he let go, he would never see Thor again.

   “Brother…” started Thor, but Loki cut him off:

   “Please don’t make me go away tonight” he whispered. “Don’t send me away tonight.”

   Thor felt his body shudder and heat started spreading from his chest down into the pit of his stomach.

   “Of course” he managed to say, keeping his voice even. “Of course. Come, brother, let us go to bed.”

   Loki let go of his hand hesitantly and quickly took off his tunic and his pants, keeping his eyes on Thor. In the light of the few candles that illuminated the room, his skin looked golden and glowing. Thor averted his eyes from the thin chest and the long, slender legs, trying to ignore the fact that the only remaining layer of clothing on his brother’s body were the thin undergarments that hugged his forms.

   Loki stood before him, unmoving, apparently waiting for him to undress too. Thor quickly shed off his clothes, carefully avoiding Loki’s eyes.

   They lay down on the bed and Thor pulled the soft covers over them. Loki moved himself closer to his brother, and the places where their bodies touched burned Thor like flames straight out of Hel.

   Loki flicked his wrist and the candles went out with a slight swoosh. The only remaining source of light was the soft, silver hue filtering from outside through the curtains.

   Thor lay unmoving on his back, trying to even out his breathing, keeping his eyes stubbornly fixed on the high ceiling plunged in darkness. He could feel Loki’s gaze on him. It was searing a whole in his head.

   “Thor” whispered Loki after a while.

   Thor made a soft hum, signaling he was listening.

   “Thor, can you… Could you embrace me?”

   There was a wheezing sound as Thor sucked in a startled breath.

   “Just… Just for a bit” muttered Loki, sounding embarrassed of his own request. “You used to hug me, before. I remember.”

   It was true. When they were children, Thor would take Loki in his arms every time his brother was in pain, or even remotely sad or down. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

   “Of course, brother” rasped Thor, turning on his side to face Loki. His eyes were shining in the dark, huge and fixed on Thor. “Of course. Come.”

   Loki quickly moved to niche himself between Thor’s outstretched arms. Thor engulfed him in the warmth of his body, his brother’s smaller form slotting itself against him. Loki felt quite cool, but Thor felt as if a fire was consuming his whole being. He squeezed his brother against himself, the thin figure almost nothing compared to his own powerful build. Loki settled his face in the crook of Thor’s neck and placed a burning hand on his lower back.

   Thor wished his brother had placed it lower.

   Loki breathed hot air against Thor’s sensitive skin, and an uncontrolled shudder ran through Thor’s body.

   “Thank you” murmured Loki, his lips moving against Thor’s flesh.

   Thor nearly moaned. One of his hands shot up to grab Loki by the back of his head, his fingers digging into his soft curls, pressing his brother’s face even more against his neck.

   He felt Loki’s breathing hitch. He felt the shiver that ran down Loki’s back.

   Thor’s cock stirred. He wanted to run.

   Loki plastered himself against Thor’s body, leaving no space between them. His thigh was pressed against Thor’s quickly hardening erection.

   Then Thor felt something that made his heart drop down to his stomach. A wetness in the crook of his neck. The press of soft lips.

   Loki was placing soft, open-mouthed kisses on his heated flesh.

   Blood roared in Thor’s ears and he let out a strangled breath. He pressed Loki head against his neck, his other arm squeezing around Loki’s lithe form. His hips rocked forward into the firm thigh pressed against his crotch. Loki’s labored breathing fanned his skin, burning where it reached.

   Thor’s hand traveled lower and he grabbed Loki’s ass, his fingers sinking into the muscle and pressing ever closer to his own body.

   He had no idea what was happening, but he never wanted it to stop.

   Thor turned his head, burying his nose in Loki’s silky, black hair. His mouth opened against his brother’s locks, the taste and smell there sweeter than any fruit he had ever tasted. His hand groped around the meat at Loki’s ass. This made Loki choke a bit, but then Thor felt a small tongue darting and licking his neck, and before he could do anything else, sharp teeth sunk into the sensitive flesh there.

   Thor saw stars dance before his eyes, all the blood in his body rushed south, and before he could stop himself, he had Loki on his back, thin frame pinned under his weight, frail wrists held over his head in a vicious grip, one knee parting lithe thighs to prepare them to accept more between them.

   Thor watched Loki for a fraction of second – he watched his clouded eyes, watched his spit-shining lips, his debauched hair, ruffled and untidy, the blush spreading to his cheeks – and he hesitated no longer than that.

   Thor leaned in, joining their lips in a rough, searing kiss. Loki yielded under his touch, made no move to resist, and this submission ignited Thor’s lust even more. He pushed his tongue inside his brother’s mouth, which incited a muffled moan from Loki, drinking in the taste he had longed for so long. His hips snapped forward and he felt, pressed against his thigh, the outline of Loki’s arousal.

   His blood sang with pleasure and victory. He broke off the kiss, and Loki actually chased his lips, his eyes still half-closed.

   “Brother” rasped Thor, his eyes wide to see in the penumbra of the room.

   Loki opened his eyes to look at him, the green of their irises glinting with something that seemed magical.

   “I have wanted this…” muttered Thor, his large hand palming Loki’s cool cheek. “I have wanted this for so long.”

   Loki didn’t reply anything. He stared at Thor, his gaze piercing.

   “So long that I would be ashamed to admit it” finished Thor in a barely audible whisper.

   Loki sucked in a breath, his eyes slightly widening.

   He didn’t say anything.

   Thor bent his head and caught Loki’s lower lip between his teeth, sucking it avidly. He then moved his kisses to his brother’s cheek, to his jaw, down his exposed neck and mouthed at his collarbone. His hands traveled down Loki’s slender body, palming and feeling the smooth skin under his digits. His hands were so big compared to his brother’s thin form that he could almost encircle Loki’s lean waist when grabbing it.

   Thor run his palms along the silky skin, exploring the expanse of flesh he had so long wanted to touch, surveying every crevasse, every taut muscle, every protruding bone and rib, his head buried in Loki’s neck, in his sent, the taste of flesh on the tip of his tongue.

   Loki’s nails were digging in his shoulder blades and he was trembling softly under Thor’s heated touches and caresses, a soft whimper escaping now and then his parted lips; but otherwise, he stayed silent and pliant, giving himself to Thor’s mercy.

   Thor let his hand travel lower and, with a hitch of excitement, he snaked it into Loki’s underwear. He took him in his large hand, encircling it with his fingers, and gave it a small tug. Loki let out a moan and clasped his hand to his mouth. Thor gripped his wrist and pried it away from Loki’s lips.

   “I want to hear you” he commanded in a voice hoarse with desire.

   Keeping his eyes fixed on his brother, he swiped with his thumb the tip of Loki’s cock, smearing the precum that had built-up there. Loki’s head arched back, his eyes closing and his mouth falling open.

   Thor sucked a last spot on Loki’s already bruised neck and retreated on his knees until his face was leveled with his brother’s tented undergarments. He tugged them down, his own hands trembling with the pent-up want and his breath caught up, his lust-crazed brain finally catching up on what was happening. He had been waiting for something like this to happen since his teenage years, hundreds of years ago.

   He had been in love with Loki for so long that this almost seemed like a daydream.

   Loki stirred under him, and when Thor looked up he saw his brother gazing down at him, his eyes uncertain and wandering.

   “Thor, what…” he started with his raspy voice, wheezing and querying.

   Thor didn’t let him finish, half in fear that Loki would protest and would want to stop everything that was happening.

   He wouldn’t have been able to stop.

   Thor took his brother’s erect cock in his mouth, ignoring Loki’s strangled cry of surprise and the thin hands suddenly gripping his hair. Thor swirled his tongue around the tip. Loki’s fingers tightened in his hair, pulling on them, and a moan escaped past his lips.

   Thor sucked a bit, his tongue tracing patterns on his brother’s cock, then he leaned his head down, allowing the tip to hit the back of his throat. His eyes watered a bit – he had never done anything of the sort before, and he was glad for Loki’s reduced size. His whole cock fit perfectly in Thor’s mouth. He started bobbing his head, the shaft slick with his saliva and with Loki’s precum between his lips. One of his hands went to grip his brother’s waist, fingers digging in the flesh, to steady Loki’s writhing form; the other traveled to his own throbbing erection, and he quickly took himself and started thrusting into his fist.

   “Thor, oh _gods_ ” whined Loki.

   Thor sped up his rhythm despite Loki’s hands that were now tugging painfully at his hair. He was close to release. Only a few moments, and…

   “Thor! Brother, _stop_ , I… _Thor!_ ”

   A violent tremor went through Loki’s body, his fingers digging into Thor’s scalp, and he came into Thor’s mouth with a husky, breathless cry. Thor closed his eyes, tasting the warm liquid on his tongue, then his own body convulsed, and he was spilling into his closed palm. He felt his mind blank out, empty of all thoughts, his nerves on fire, blood roaring in his ears, his eyes rolling back into his skull.

   Thor’s body slumped down, his face nested in Loki’s groin, cold shivers running down his back. It took him a while to come down from the high of his orgasm. His body was sticking with sweat and the cold winter air felt like small needles on his heated skin.

   He then looked up at his brother. Loki still was breathing deeply, one arm rested over his eyes. Thor crawled up to him, placing himself just next to him, and propped himself on his elbow, observing.

   “Loki?” he asked tentatively in a small, slightly trembling voice.

   His brother slowly took his arm away and looked up at him. His eyes were unreadable and reminded Thor uncomfortably of adult Loki’s everyday expression.

   Thor raised a hand and gently brushed aside hair strands that were plastered over Loki’s face. Loki let him, not moving nor saying a word.

   “ _Loki_ ” murmured Thor, starting to feel sick in the pit of his stomach, a cold dread washing over him. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

   Loki’s gaze wandered across his face as if he searched for something there.

   “I love you, brother” whispered Thor. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

   “You didn’t” replied Loki, startling Thor.

   A small grin was playing on his lips, and the usual spark was back in his shiny eyes.

   Thor let a huge smile split his face in half and he leaned down, capturing Loki’s mouth in a soft, delicate kiss. He drew the covers over them and Loki inched closer to him, his arms encircling Thor’s back.

   Thor placed a kiss in Loki’s raven hair and engulfed him in a tight embrace, his body cold between his warm muscles.

   He tried to stay awake to marvel at the smoothness of Loki’s skin, at the perfect way his brother fit in his arms, at the memories he now would carry forever in his mind, but soon slumber overtook him, his brain lulled to sleep by Loki’s soft breaths.

  

* * *

 

   When Thor woke up, the bed was empty once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't help myself with that bit of fluff at the end.


End file.
